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Pathetic Cheesetweet (TM) to Celebrate 2.5 Cheeseless Months

That’s to David Koechner, who has been in some 40 movies, including Anchorman, Anchorman 2, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Talledega Nights and Snakes on a Plane.

I’m sure he’s chomping at the bit to work with a human colostomy bag like John Cheese. They’re both comedians, after all.

9 weeks

Hot damn Cheese must be desperate for someone to ride his nuts!!

Got an email from another nut-rider: “I don’t even like Cheese, but you suck because you are picking on an unknown comedian.” Oh, and the typical bit about bit about how I need to “get over my cracked article being rejected.”

Good try, but all the hallmarks of someone that rides Cheese’s nuts: He calls him a “comedian”, alludes to the same fantasy that Cheese/Wong swear by, that everyone who hates them is just a rejected Cracked writer, and takes the time to send me an email. Even though he “hates” Cheese. 

Nice try, but that’s classic nut-rider talk. Maybe take a step back, and look at the life you are living, son, living off John Cheese’s nuts. I know sometimes you hop on Wong’s, but that’s no way to live. Get help, son. 

Cheese’s twitter is back!

Also, I’ve gotten a couple pieces of hate mail from Cheese’s nut riders. “How dare you not ride his nuts?!” is the gist. More power to them, I guess. I’m not going to be a sniveling coward like John Cheese and cry about how these people don’t ride my nuts, or beg my colostomy bag best friend David Wong to ban anyone who dares criticize me, or even call them “child fuckers” (like Cheese has). 

Though, using Cheese’s logic, it means that these nut riders like my blog, because if you don’t like it don’t read it blah blah blah. Though I don’t really believe that, because I have a shred of intellectual honesty and don’t twist every fact in existence to support some ridiculously inflated view of myself (like Cheese).

As to the twitter thing, well, I think Cheese is about reassert himself.*

*As a huge piece of shit. 

7 weeks?!

As a friend of mine told me, at this point whatever is keeping Cheese away has to be negative. If it was positive, he’d be back wanting people to ride his nuts about it.

I’m sure he’ll “overcome” whatever it is, so that he can rehash all the articles he wrote previously about how he overcame all his personal demons by force of will. 

6 weeks without Cheese

Remember when Cheese tweeted about how, given his upbringing, that he is proud that he doesn’t use the “n word”? Like this is something for which someone should give him a pat on the back? 

More proof that Cheese’s entire facade is nothing more than diluted “social justice” ideas he got from that shitsack David Wong. 


Because I won’t/can’t figure out how to reply to a comment, I will respond to a comment on my previous post here. The comment is as follows:

@clumsybat said: Could this even be called pandering? It’s insulting homophobic.

You are absolutely correct. Everything in my post shows Cheese’s true colors, which are those of a homophobe. The pandering part would be on his twitter account (before it got deleted) where he would post about how he doesn’t understand how people could be against gay rights, etc.

I was just pointing out that not only is he a homophobic sack of shit, he is also a hypocritical lying sack of shit.

I apologize for any confusion.

John Cheese’s Pro-Gay Rights Stance is Really Hollow Pandering

Cheese has posted several tweets of a pro-gay rights bent, as if him realizing what lots of people have already realized is somehow profound. It’s not the content that is objectionable, but the trite, self-congratulatory nature of it that made it so terrible. 

Sadly, John Cheese has deleted his twitter account. Wait, not sadly. Actually I’m kind of glad about it. But, the quotes below, even standing alone, show that beneath John Cheese’s thin veneer of “common sense liberal” is a homophobe yearning to burst free.

This is John Cheese speaking. As you can see Dave asked me to sit in while he’s off having gay sex on the down low.” - John Cheese

Because black guys have huge dongs. That’s what Dave tells me. And I believe him because he’s somewhat of an expert on dudejunk. I’m calling David gay.” - John Cheese

And if you already own our album or for some reason you don’t like our music because you’re a huge gayhole, I can still burn you other CDs.” - John Cheese

You can find the article in question here:

Oh, in case you had any doubt, the lyrics to John Cheese’s completely hilarious-and-not-at-all-homophobic song, “Gay Superman”:


Looks like John Cheese is, once again, proven to be a fraud. 

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